Everyday Life

ONE LINER JOKES

• Classic Definitions

• Nuclear Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
• Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
• Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
• Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
• Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says midway "See I am not injured yet"
• Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
• Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
• Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
• Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
• Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
• Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
• Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
• Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
• Conference room: A place where nobody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
• Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
• Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
• Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
• Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
• Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.